I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
