is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
