I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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