I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
