got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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