wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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