Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
