Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
