just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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