I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
