I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
