I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
there's paper in my vomit.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
