Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
