I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
