brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
