I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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