You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
