$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
