so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
