That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize