you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
