you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
