Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize