that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This is the high leading the old right now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize