I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
