i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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