I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
