Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize