The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Randomize
