I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize