you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
