Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am available for nakedness
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
