I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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