Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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