Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
