I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
