I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
