Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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