obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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