Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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