I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
