Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
