Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
