It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
