yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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