Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
