who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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