I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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