Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
