we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
