he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
