i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
