I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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