all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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