they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
