I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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