Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
