i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
