How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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