I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
