I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is Oprah even human
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
