mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
