I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
